7:15am - Only just going to bed. Have been smoking weed and snorting cocaine since this time yesterday and have lost the ability to blink. My friend, Tyrone, is pulling my eyelids down and holding them shut so I am able to rest.
7:16am - It didn't work, so Tyrone will repeatedly punch me in the face until I lose consciousness. It's for my own good and even though I will end up with a black eye and a missing tooth, I still love him and will touch his penis later.
9:00am - Despite Tyrone's attempts to make me sleep, I am awake again now and can't think of anything else to do but search for my lost tooth. I will have my fix before breakfast an